Being Asian

I was adopted from South Korea when I was about 11 months old--more of that later. I grew up living in a rural, agricultural town. My adopted parents were and are the only parents I knew to love. I lived in an area where the Asian-American community wasn't heavily populated, and where I stick out in a crowd, with my coffee cream skin, black hair and almond eyes.

Isn't life a puzzle sometimes? Might wonder why and how you came to be. Honest and simple- I am here today because of two loving parents who chose to adopt me from South Korea. Without their love, I would probably not be living in this world today. This blog post is dedicated to my beginning journey with embracing my inner culture- being Korean. Please join me...

I grew up doing the normal things every other kid in town would do for fun. Playingin the mud (literally, softball, riding bike). All of my friends were Caucasians. Caucasians were the majority with a few minority making up our town. None of my teachers ever thought a second I was even Korean. Seriously, skin didn't matter which it should always be. 

However, when you're a minority (especially in your town) you know it. I've figured this out for myself as I grew older. However I have always struggled with the issue of fitting in. To not have fair skin, or even eye shapes that matched my mom's was hard to think about--but tried not to ponder. I was always tanner in the summer. My dark straight hair was always complimented of how shiney and straight as a pin it was. When I started wearing makeup, oh the challenge of putting on eyeshadow with having Monolids. When watching TV, I rarely found women or girls that looked like me. Of course this is the 21st century and we're supposed to be created equal. Hoewver, there just wasn't a lot of Asian inspired women on the TV, magazines etc. Growing up, believe it or not- I loved the movies Pocahontas and Mulan. To be honest I loved every Disney movie! But truth- they both resembled features of me. Pocahontas had long, THICK black hair (Asian hair is soo thick blergh)! I liked Mulan not just because of Eddie Murphy's animation voice but because of her almond eyes and rosy cheeks. Whenever I would see another Asian or even Korean, I would get bitter and turn away. I never really understood why, until now. With a little help of conversations and self growth, I judged those Asians because I never truly accepted or was satisfied with myself as an Asian.

Many Americans choose to adopt. Plain and simple. It's a beautiful thing. Many choose to adopt internationally. Though I am far from parenthood, there are many challenges of raising a child that doesn't look like you or know your culture. Parents today are equipped with so many resoruces and support groups. However, growing up I really didn't understand how to fit in. Yes-I had friends but they didn't look like me or know a culture that I didn't even know. I was talking to a friend of the' "tall" comments I get all the time. I would always say the "American diet" helped me grow. In contrast, Korean diets have very little dairy, meat (I don't know how I could've survied)..I love milk and cheese!!

Springtime in South Korea

Realistically, it's challenging to just transport someone from one country to another. My simple little quirks that I may find weird may actually be a part of my gene pool-my culture. Take this for example. I am a very independent person. Always have been. Maybe it was because I didn't understand who I was, my culture, everything. Koreans tend to be very independent. So ha! I didn't know that! So it's something in my gene that I simply can't take away. However, I don't have to pretend and say I blamed my adoption for it. I can just say it's a fact. TRUTH. I choose to EMBRACE. This is just the beginning of my journey to learn more about my culture- learning about Korea. Everything from their languge to their food. The more I understand about myself, the more I can truly accept myself for who I truly am..